Today, when things get very hard, and I want to quit I go outside and look up. (I can't help it - up is Creator, the Earth, is Mother and comfort). That's just me. When I can't pray because life sucks and I'm angry - I begin with forcing myself to say THANKYOU. Finding our God/Goddess/HigherPower - is about relationship. It is not about what a card tells us. We have to know ourselves, and only then will the Divine be evident. God/dess is cellular. It's an Internal knowing - when we loose our way, we have to find the silent place inside ourselves and reconnect there. To this, I am adding words gifted to me by a respected elder -
These are the words that Willow shared with me on women and healing. Willow gets to the computer less and less these days. She is 89 yrs old. Her official name is 'Standing Elk Woman' she is of the Shawnee People. I pass them to you all here, with love and respect. I have changed nothing.
One more for the road" Feeling guilty about your own weakness and failure is ABUSIVE. You were created by Great Spirit, s/he makes no mistakes "Bravery, is NOT the absence of fear. It is rather, being afraid, but having the fortitude to 'push on' in spite of the fear."
HOW CAN I EVER TELL MYSELF THAT I'M ANYTHING LESS THAN BEAUTIFUL.? HOW CAN IEVER TELL MYSELF THAT I'M ANYTHING LESS THAN WHOLE? HOW CAN I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT MY LOVING IS A MIRACLE? HOW DEEPLY I AM CONNECTED TO MY SOUL! .................................
LOVE CREATOR! LOVE YOURSELF! TRUST CREATOR! TRUST YOURSELF!
While sitting in the Inipi praying and listening to the other sisters and brothers praying, crying a woman's sweet voice in song reached out. It was her "song" Listen carefully and you too can learn from it. I was blessed with the permission to share this with you.
Every effort that you make, whether you see the results, or not, is honored by the Creator. In this life, growth, is always painful. Try dear sister to remember, that the fire is not meant to consume you, it is meant to refine you. Think of a single 'strand' of wheat. Standing by itself, the wind blows it where it wants to. But, when that single strand of wheat is bundled together with many others, they stand together,strong and secure. So it is with us. We are here to stand with you. We will not let you drown. You are a miracle of Creation. Sometimes, the eagle soars, and goes where it wants to on the currents of air. But there are times when the eagle is forced to travel a path that was not of it's own choosing. When the wind tells the eagle where it is going. So it is with us. But like our brother eagle, we need to focus on the flight, and let the destination be the Creator's choosing. Sometimes, what we view as 'standing still' or even moving backwards is exactly what we are meant to be doing. Listen to your spirit. It will never take you where you are not meant to be.
We are women and as women we are sisters-we empathize, we nurture, we suffer TOGETHER and we should know that all things are born of women, in all things Honor the woman. From you words I intuit what and why you are suffering. What you need to understand your "devastating, painful" changes to your life is and was known to many of us, therefor we can offer you true compassion and understanding. It is not easy, no one ever said it would be easy but never must we allow ourselves to become victims. My sincerest wish is that you could find a "Womens Circle". There is great healing in sharing with other women. There is nothing like the support of other women who listen, cry and laugh with you-who can share their experiences with you so that you will see that it is not something only you are experiencing. I realize your pain is personal and you wrap yourself in it and so perhaps you put up walls to hide behind, its a safe place behind those walls. But my dear sister the walls you put up also hold in the pain. and you need to "breath through it" breath is life. You are a Woman ,we are sisters "Weak, vulnerable and depressed" you have gotten this far what you need to do is" Learn To Play The Game Bigger Than The One You Are Already Playing"
We can only control one thing in life-our frame of mind. Our postive, calm energy can have tremendous influence
When I cannot sleep I think, I remember what I was taught, what I learned and with respect I would share with you for you to think about agree or disagree, but to hear the Song of the Whipporwill, to sing it in your heart.To wonder why it sings at night the song of days new start!
The thorn hurts as it enters the body It also hurts when it exits the body
We have many obligations but ultimately we are responsible to only two entities: Ourself and Creator, Great Spirit.
************************************************************************* This is an old, old prayer-
Find a stone Hold the stone in your hand for stones are also our ancestors. To hold it in your hand as you say these words is like holding a healer. Say these words with your heart. Let your heart speak:
Grandfather you are strong for me, I feel your support in my hand. I feel your edges and your curves. I see your face that has thousands of years of living. Thank you for waiting just for me.
Thank you Grandfather, for all you are about to do for me. Please wait for me just a little more, I need to be ready for your gift.
I must hold on to my pain one last time. I need to experience the hurt, the agony, the ache. It has power over me. It controls me. Please wait for me Grandfather, as I let it control me.
I remember it all. I can see where my pain began. I can smell what was around me, as my heart muscles push and make my blood rush. Wait for me Grandfather, for my heart must ache. Wait for me as my heart cries. I must cry. The pain must wash me before I can let go.
I hold all the pain in my heart, Grandfather, I am ready to let it go. I am ready to give my pain to you. Into your patient depth, I pour all my pain. With my soft eye,I follow it as it rushes to your waiting arms. I say good-bye to the pain.I give it all to you.
Thank you for taking my pain from me. Thank you Grandfather, for your gift of acceptance.Thank you for wanting to heal me. .............................. Now, hold the Grandfather stone under water and ask that the spirits of the water cleanse the Grandfather of your pain, which he holds with his strength. Water Spirits cleanse him of my pain, wash over him and free the pain. Thank you water spirits for your healing. Clear, life giving water cleanses all things.
Closure!
This have I learned, this I was taught - this I have read and this I share with you.
A very wise man, once told me, "that there are very few things in this life, that the 'world', and those who know us, will not forgive at some point. We, on the other hand, fight hard, to remain unforgiving of ourselves. We are our own worst enemy". Take heart, dear one. Stand strong, and unafraid. You are a good woman. Do not allow yourself the injustice, of going back over what, at this point can not be changed. Allow yourself, to see the strength it took, for you to make the decisions that you have made.
I know...you all think everything is about cats right now. I was thinking about change as I moved the furniture around yesterday. How I wish I could wiggle something and work would be done so I could be outside... the week has flown by.
I was watching my son hold that kitten this morning and I could see the gentleness in his hands. Some kids would hold tight to keep a baby restrained. Geofie's fingers hold softly without gripping. I don't know what it is about hands that is so special. I just know thinking about them can reduce me to tears.
I think back to when I was in the accident and almost lost my own hand from infection. I was gifted a poem about hands once. I remember when my mother in law fell while I was helping her and I caught her...we slid to the ground and both sat there. I held this 86 yr old woman naked in my arms as she tried not to cry. We went back to her room and before she let me go, she said "Oh precious hands."
I remember thinking my mother's hands were the most beautiful hands in the world as they stroked the bridge of my nose when I was sick as a child.
I was first attracted to my husband through his hands as he used them to express himself while speaking. I could watch his hands for hours. I still can.
I love wedding pictures where the bride and groom's hands are photographed.
And as a child the little song we sang on the way to church... He's got the whole world in his hands... the image of that still gets me.
The way people reach their hands to touch a mother's stomach and feel the baby kick...
or how about how we'd wind our circle of string and play cat's cradle and Jacob's ladder as children.
And the sweet fingers of a newborn wrapped around daddy's big hand... or my tiny grand daughter moments after her birth when I counted her fingers...
We connect with everything through our hands. We feel softness, compassion, love, wonder, energy, power... the intenseness of life comes to us through our hands. We tend the earth, tend our families, caress our lovers...
And don't forget the other side of touch. Everything dark can be in the hands as well. Pain, anger, destruction, death... these too are dished out by the power we wield through our hands.
It is a good day. I believe the kitten and I will be having some touch time here in a bit - After I finish my coffee.
Hi everyone. I wanted to check in and share something with you all that happened today. Let me lay this out a bit and then copy and paste the rest... In my cherokee group this morning someone posted a prayer. It is at the beginning. I responded with this lengthy thing afterwards...and a sweet friend responded after me and honored me by writing a poem. It is so very special but the reason it is special is all tied into everything that happened this morning. Forgive me in advance for the OT stuff and you all over look whatever you need to to be comfortable with the talk of Creator...but you will see how much it ties in. I love you all. I am hanging in and hanging on. hugs~~ Amber
Osiyo Sidanelv i ale Sunale Osda,(Hello Family and good morning) I pray this finds everyone in good spirit this morning. I send prayers to the special needs. I send prayers for the healing of the Earth Mother. I ask that Sky Father always show us the Way. Give us strength to know beyond our fears that we may lay them aside. Give us eyes to see beyond the surface and discern that which is for us. Show us where you would use us, for we ask, what would you have us do? We make ourselves available willingly and eager to serve. Today we are in this world and, are spirit, so we walk in two worlds. Remind us always to focus on that which builds up, for we know the flesh breaks down. We thank you for the experience for you have given us free will. We choose the Way of the True Human Being.
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Thankyou [name], this prayer is beautiful and I need to hear it this morning. Things are ok here. I am trying to let go of thoughts about things I can't control. I'm sure in a little while, there will be an awful lot of junk dropped on me. I asked over and over to have it handled in workable increments, but it wasn't to be. Somewhere there is a lesson I must learn I imagine. Or that someone else must learn...and I must live with...lol. We are to finish the house combining by tomorrow and it's not even close.
We got our new windows finished yesterday. One doesn't work to my satisfaction. The count was done incorrectly so we have a month to wait befor the job is done and the last window is put in. The workers were not careful and burned two places on the kitchen linoleum. One of them smeared calk all over the back porch. There is a lap in the old siding that needs attention from being pushed in, and the back door needs capping too so it matches the rest of the house. My ex is saying he will only do the door if he has enough scrap metal at home. I just ignored him while he made his excuses, then reminded him he'll have to buy coil stock anyway since the window also has to be capped.
He'd forgotten and was ready to be done with me...so...as mom and I discussed, we get over some things, but other things will always rub wrong when you deal with an ex spouse. The windows for the most part are very nice. Now I have to clean them up nice so she can enjoy them.
Mom started a new medicine yesterday night so she could sleep. It has morophine in it and they didn't tell her that...only that it was a pain killer. She slept well. Last night it didn't work the same and she needed two doses. I worry that I will have to answer for this choice to her adult-kids since I am the caregiver. But this is about quality of life these days and her comfort.
I bought myself a bracelet last night. I know, silly thing...but it has these double-sided silver ovals linked together and it felt so right to have this to reinforce the words on it..."trust, love, laugh, believe, dream" and on the other side of each oval are the words "faith, peace, joy, strength, hope". It was just right... like a mantra or something and I had to have it. I also bought a rosewood frame for the Cherokee Prayer you gave us before... It now sits in the living room, framed for constant reminders.
I just took a break from writing as mom woke up an hour ago. We had decided she would have a bath today since her children are coming. So we get her started and she is so very weak...all thru the time we are washing her, she can't lean forward and keeps leaning involuntarily back. I was afraid she'd slide off the shower chair. So we finish her bath and I realize that no one else realizes how much care I take to rub and stimulate her skin and scalp and make her bath an enjoyment...but I do it and think of the love I have for this woman who made it possible for me to have my sweet Geoffie.
She's so unsteady this morning. The bathroom is so narrow. I help her stand to her walker and move out of the way so she can take the few small steps to her wheelchair. All the while I am uneasy because these 'helping' contraptions are between us. And I realize she hasn't any control as she says oh Amber...
I moved the wheel chair in time to get to her before she went down, but she was going and there was no stopping it. So as I have my hands around her, she says what are we going to do? And I told her we are going to finish falling and I will not let her get hurt. She let me lower her to the floor and that darned walker was between us. Thank Creator I am a tall woman. We almost didn't make it.
She says I'm down, now what? And I told her I was going to lift her into the chair. She held onto me and let me do what I needed to do to get her picked up. Years ago when I was a teenager learning these moves in my first job, I never dreamed I'd ever remember them and need them again.
We got her into the bedroom, into her chair and dressed and I was still not ok. We came so close to an accident. I sat at her feet and held her hands and we cried together for a moment. She held my hands and I thought she was going to say "oh precious Jesus" but she said "oh precious hands". And we both thanked our Gods.
5 (9)years ago it was my hands I damaged in a car accident. The first part of this year I marveled at how the strength had come back to them. After 5 years, I thought I would always live with the weakness. Today I am reminded again how all lessons and all things happen for a reason. How could anyone ever not realize how the lessons I learned when my hands were too weak to carry A CUP OF COFFEE come back to me and serve me on a day like today.
Creator is merciful and He provides all our needs in ways we can only guess at. Today my lesson has been in trust. I am still shaken. But we are closer and Creator met both of our needs this morning. I still feel like I need a good cry. I'm one of those who breaks down AFTER the stress, not during...but I will be ok. I tried to call a couple of people...now Elisi Gathering Grass will know why I sounded funny on her answering machine. I just needed to not be strong for a brief moment. I guess we all have our frailties in certain areas, huh? Love you Elisi...don't worry. I'm better.
so, back to the main title of this email...the lesson on opportunities...I just shared mine...the opportunity to be strong, to not panic, to give beyond what you think you can...and the opportunity to put things into perspective based on what's important...I don't even care about the junk that will be dumped on this house later... What IS important is the praise I feel for Creator giving me extra strength and Mom's safety. And for YOU... precious souls who understand that the spiritual and physical are more closely tied than we sometimes think. All things are opportunities. I love you all. Morning Rain ************************************************************************************* after posting the preceeding email, my friend Deborah sent me this poem written just for me. I am honored.
Oh Precious Hands
Oh Precious Hands, which bear The Medicine of Love, The Strongest Medicine of All, and through which The Love and Strength of The Ancestors Touches us, bringing Healing. ....To Creator we give our Thanks
Oh Precious Hands, which bear Compassion and Empathy, which Touch another with Grace and Beauty and bring Healing and Peace, and Awaken the same Energies in those they touch.... an Infusion of Spirit ....To Creator we give our Thanks
Oh Precious Hands, which Serve, kneading the dough, canning the Fruit of Harvest, cook the food we eat, pour a cup of coffee.... wash the dishes and clothes, administer first-aid to every type of hurt.... with a Hug. ....To Creator we give our Thanks.
Oh Precious Hands, Dispensers of Love in All they do.... through which we recieve The Touch of Creator and Spirit, Strengthening us on our Walk around the Sacred Hoop of Life .... may it flow back. ....To Creator we give our Thanks.
Another old writing that came to me today as I revisited a computer issue...lol My cache was giving me trouble. Doesn't that sound wierd? As I was editing photos I'd finish and enter another ad and the same pictures would be there. I took a few minutes to sort what I was doing, and sure enough...it was ME again! Then later as I went through my performance review notes again, I realized I had hit my daily goals by just paying attention to the details. I am required to hit 120 interactions a day and the only way I can do it is by keeping track of the time I am NOT interacting. Isn't that backwards? But my boss looked like she would cry when I explained what I had figured out. I guess there was a lesson in there for my friend/boss as well. So since I was going over this old writing, I thought I'd share it. I hope someone recognizes something they can learn from. Once in a while I get the teaching bug...since this is an old writing, I won't change it.
Hey. That's Georgian for hello in case you wondered.
I was sitting here this morning thinking how my work computer issues apply to our lives. I feel a share coming on...hope you are ready since we have been quiet lately.
On Friday, My computer was reimaged. Basically, they took a decent machine, reinstalled everything, and updated everything possible. It should be running like a top, the envy of every one in the company I'm told.
About an hour into this morning's work, the machine started running like it was out of memory...barely opening pages and programs. I showed my manager and he just shook his head. He told me to call desktop support. I did and the technician started checking out my machine. she could find no reason for the sluggishness and the troubles I was experiencing. She spent an hour going through all the programs and memory items to see if she could figure it out. Well it narrows down to ONE thing. My problems are based on HOW I use my main work program. The powers that be insist the operating system is A-1. The program is perfect for supporting our company's needs. So it's me. Dyslexic, effecient, multi-tasking, impatient... ME. I like my machine to run fast and i don't waste time WAITING on a program to load. I move on to another task while it thinks and processes. Apparently, while using 2 programs at once, I am straining it. BOO-HOO...it doesn't have that kind of capability --- it is after all, just a computer.
You all may get tired of my work and family based examples, but I'm a Grand Mother, lol...so I think I need to share these things...
We hear how need to take it up a notch. Healing. Understanding. We have work to do... we all say yes, you are so right... others talk about being positive in the face of negatives... choosing to enjoy a day in spite of the obstacles. I usually think "what obstacles?" Living life is not a bad thing. I enjoy every day I am given. I get up and I choose to see the positives. It's how I am. No adjustments needed here.
OK... here is what I see today.
As we live and enjoy --- as we go to our children's functions and enjoy our pets --- as we have fun --- as we work --- there is another level. There is that level that demands we pay attention to our energy. There is the level that demands we USE it properly so we are prepared to accomplish our WORK. These levels exist simultaneously. One cannot function independantly of the other because if we forget and just fast finger our way through things, the functions get confused. Your attitude can be wonderful; your intentions spotless. Yet the inner workings are still using so much memory capability that something will trip over something else. There will be NOTHING wrong --- EXCEPT --- that we need to take the way we PROCESS ---
UP A NOTCH.
We are Aniyvwiyv/Old Souls. We have a purpose beyond just living from day to day. We are going to have to be able function at that higher level as we manage our every day lives. We are not all sitting here experiencing negative things. We are not all in pain from our pasts. We are not all clueless about who we are and what we have to one day do...
BUT when it comes time to face the upheaval and the fire and ASCEND above the physical during the shift... ARE WE GOING TO BE ABLE TO? What are we doing to prepare? Just moving to some natural place is not going to get this done. We have to develop to the point that we have CONTROL of our energy on levels that average people have no awareness of. People get real turned off by christianity, but UNDERSTAND the lessons that are to be learned from the life of Christ. Here was a teacher who vibrated to the point of defeating death on a physical level. He appeared dead for 3 days, resurrected, and ASCENDED. That is a lesson for us. Do not shut this teacher out because churches and european religions do not understand the NDN ways. The mind of Christ and what he brought us is an incredible study when you have the understandings of the shift and the prophecies we are preparing for. This is a sacred understanding. This is a sacred responsibility. Perfect love is perfect vibration. You had better get this message and understand it ---because that kind of vibratory level takes practice and understanding. You cannot under estimate the IDLE PROCESS of your mind any more than I can just bob along and use my computer the way I am used to. It is time to take it up a notch.
We have things to MASTER.
I hope I am clear. with great love and respect, ~Morning Rain
I've been reading a book called every woman is a witch. I was thinking about what it means to be a witch, wise woman, elder - while I was busy deciding what herbs I'll grow at the side of the deck. I think being a witch means that we know the power held in ourselves and in nature. It's not that I am doing anything so different - it's just a coming together of collected knowledge. It's acting on it, so that this knowledge makes a difference in my life. It's pursuing change, and visualizing dreams, and calling energy through vibrations. It's living consciously with directed intention. It's acknowledging the power that exists by connecting with nature; be it herbs, combinations of elements and words, or visualization and energy. It's calling on the power of the ALL - the creative force.
In the moment we say magick ~~~~~ people who don't understand run scared.
As the daughter of a mother who stays away from her child for NOT accessing the FATHER as the ONLY way to salvation; I think on this from time to time. I am a shunned daughter but I am seventh generation daughter of the Anigatogewi -Wild Potato Clan of the Cherokee People. I am mixed blood. I am on no man's Rolls.
To my mother I would say I believe the Christ worked miracles in the same way all miracles are worked. He connected with the ALL - his personal God who he called FATHER. He used this POWER to heal, to walk on water, to turn water into wine, to raise the dead. He was without doubt, CONNECTED. I think we all have this ability to connect because we are all children of the ONE, children of the ALL. We can all direct the energy of the Creator into what we do. I don't believe connecting is about religion - even though it can be about ritual. Connecting is about being open to the POWER of the Universe. It's about personal relationship with the Diety - I believe Miracles and Magick are one and the same... just like I think all women could call themselves witches.
Every human being has the same ability if they believe they do. Now when I call it miracles, how many pagans shut down? Because I say Pagan, I have no relationship with my mother. TomAto - TomAHto...
if I sink my hands in the dirt and ask the Goddess to bless the ground and visualize the harvest and plant with the moon phases - am I not doing the same thing as laying on my hands for healing? I am claiming the POWER of the Universe. I am working with energy. I am insuring success in what I have asked of the Creator, through the embodiment of Diety, by respecting the Universal laws of Nature.
I think I have a pretty good handle on this. Sometimes my grandmother's voice comes to me during meditation - She always brings me the same message. It's like, no matter what else comes to me, it's wrapped in the following...
"Everything is about relationship. Walk in balance. Walk the white path of peace. Respect the circle. Remember who you are."
Then my mind wanders back to who I am. I am an empowered WOMAN. Call me Pagan, call me witch, call me Amber, or Morning Rain, or anything else ---- the Truth is ---- I am Woman. I carry the power and knowledge of the ancestors. I am Cherokee. I work with the knowledge handed down through generations. I drum to call the energy. I use rattles to call the energy. I work with crystals for the energy. I garden with the moon. I learn about the way to live by listening to the spirits of the animals and the rocks, and the trees, and the water and the air. I do not worship these spirits. I thank them for their guidance. I acknowledge the power within, and above and below. I acknowledge the male and female in all things. I call on the Creator - The All - The Power of the Universe...
